Three Circles: A Practical Recovery Tool

In this article, I would like to consider a tool called the three circles. This is a very practical tool for those who wish to clarify their boundaries around addictive behaviour and to support their recovery.

Addiction

Before we do this, I would like briefly to consider what I mean by the word addiction. Interestingly, the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) defines addiction—apart from gambling—as involving substances (alcohol and drugs). There are no categories for behavioural addictions such as sex, gaming, internet use, eating, scrolling, or shopping.

This is how I understand addiction: it’s when we become dependent on something and continue using it despite the harm it causes. Whether we call it addiction, compulsion, dependency, or habit—whatever we want to call it—there is normally the idea of doing something again and again, expecting different results.

The Proof Is in the Pudding

As we have seen, behavioural addictions are generally missing in the DSM. However, the statistics show the markets are booming:

• Worldwide alcohol consumption was estimated at $2.31 trillion in 2023, projected to reach $5.72 trillion by 2032 [1].

• The pornography industry’s global revenue reached $287.8 billion in 2023 and is projected to reach $706.2 billion in 2034 [2].

• In 2025, gaming industry revenue is expected to hit $522.46 billion, projected to reach $665.77 billion by 2030 [3].

• Gambling is expected to reach $618.69 billion in 2025 and $754.78 billion by 2029 [4].

I am not saying that everyone who gambles, drinks, looks at porn, or games is an addict, but it is believed that between 10–15% of the population who engage with these activities will do so in a manner that is addictive [5]. These markets are on the rise, so logically addiction will rise too.

Getting Into Action

“Addiction has a function, a psychological purpose... it is a way of managing life.” [6]

It might sound strange to hear, but at points in our life, addictive behaviour has served a deep purpose. However, the issue might be that our way of managing the dis-ease we feel has stopped working, and we are now faced with finding a different direction. It is at this point we may seek to find a new way.

The Three Circles

Let’s take a look at the three circles. This tool has been used in sex addiction recovery [7], but can easily be translated to any addiction. What I like about these circles is they offer what some of us lack in our early days of recovery—structure. It also allows us to see where we are at in written form. Like journaling, it helps to organise what can feel like a hive of mental activity, gain clarity, and join the hidden dots.

Take a piece of, ideally, A3 paper and draw three concentric circles like this:

Inner Circle

In the inner circle, we can place all those behaviours or substances we wish to abstain from. We might put alcohol here, or scrolling, if that is what we consider to be detrimental to our well-being. But remember, we could say drinking alcohol before 6 p.m., or not looking at the internet an hour before we go to bed. We can choose the parameters—always remembering that it is up to us to define what is and isn’t a problem for us.

Middle Circle

These are what we might call slippery behaviours. Here, we can list situations, actions, emotions, and thoughts that could lead us back to the inner circle. So the question is: What triggers us?

That is the big question, and we can probably say it is not just one trigger but many triggers over a period of time. A relapse—using the language of recovery—does not just happen, but is a process, and it is this process we want to become more acquainted with.

In this circle, we may come to see that things which are not necessarily addictive may lead to the very place we don’t want to be. Taking a smartphone to bed, not exercising, or zoning out until late in front of the TV—these might open the door to that inner circle. We may also learn that becoming hungry, angry, lonely, and tired may mean we need to HALT!

Outer Circle

This is where we can list all the things that nourish us—exercise, hobbies, spirituality, sports, spending time with friends, travelling. These are some of the activities that may have gone by the wayside, and in rediscovering them, we start to come out of our isolation and re-engage with both ourselves and the world.

Ideally, it is here that we should have written the most. It is a simple idea but most profound—we redirect our energy from inner circle to outer circle behaviours. We will want to find replacements—and enjoyable ones at that!

In conclusion

I like the Three Circles because they’re simple and visual. They offer structure to what can often feel overwhelming. Most importantly, they give us the agency to define our own recovery journey.

When we do this exercise with a therapist, sponsor, or trusted friend, we can take it home and begin to integrate it into our lives. At the end of the day, we might gently ask ourselves: Where did I spend most of my time today? Did I notice any middle-circle warning signs? If I was in the outer circle, what did I enjoy about being there?

When we start to recognise our warning signs, we could write them on a sticky note—for example, “staying up late”—and put it somewhere visible, like the fridge. This helps us work with middle-circle behaviours in real time. We might also choose one or two actions from our outer circle and commit to doing them in the week ahead.

One important point to remember: none of this is written in stone. If we experience setbacks, the Three Circles offer a chance for curiosity rather than shame. We’re learning to be gentle with ourselves. As the saying goes, progress, not perfection.

Bibliography

1. https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/alcoholic-beverages-market-107439

2. https://www.transparencymarketresearch.com/adult-entertainment-market.html

3. https://www.statista.com/topics/1680/gaming

4. https://www.thebusinessresearchcompany.com/report/gambling-global-market-report

5. Maté, G. (2008). In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Toronto: Knopf Canada.

6. Hall, P. (2020). Understanding and Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction (2nd ed.). Routledge.

7. Sex Addicts Anonymous. (2005). Sex Addicts Anonymous (Green Book). SAA Literature.